Patrick J. Sauer Online

I went to this rather odd, yet endearing, lunch at the famous Broadway hangout  Sardi's.

One day, I hope to have the honor of a caricature hanging proudly on the wall alongside Kermit.  

In my apartment, of course, not at Sardi's. That will never happen.

This little yearn first ran at Mr. Beller's Neighborhood, where it is always a beautiful day.  

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It's Labor Day, which means only one thing: Nobody is going to be doing any work.

Sounds ironic, but the holiday came about in 1882 as a way to give "a day off for all working citizens." 

So don't exert yourself too much this weekend, not even while manning a grill. There is no shame in ordering pizza.

Labor Day also traditionally marks the end of summer. And to me, summer always means lazy time at whatever swimming pool is available.

Growing up, that meant the backyard. Today, it means Gotham's finest municipal pools.

That's right. We join the washed masses (pre-swim showers are required) in city pools. Here's a meandering hazy essay about the Power Broker who built the best of them, and the everyday Joes and Joses getting wet in them today. 

A mighty Huzzah! to Mr. Beller's Neighborhood for the long-running forum in which New York City writers tell their sordid tales.

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Since the holidays are upon us, I am giving you the gift of an extra post this week...primarily so I can take a week off to get ready for the Rose Bowl.

I say USC 42, Illinois 10.

This is a heartwarming tale of how the fine citizens of Billings got together to make a bunch of racist thugs look even smaller than the minds that drive their idiocy.

And how Hollywood tried to ruin it.

Thanks to my Jewish brethren at Jewcy for running this story and letting the fancy-pants-blue-staters know that my hometown out in the hinterlands cares about their fellow man, even their fellow Hebrew man, as much as urbanites. (Considering our Democratic Governor and Senators, I didn’t label Montana as a red state…suck it NRA.)

This piece has a few pictures from the batcrap crazy Italian Dyker Heights neighborhood of Brooklyn, where they have been competing in the Clark W.Griswold “I have more lights than you” event since the late fifties.

To see all the photos that Kim took, cut & paste this Flickr spread: http://www.flickr.com/photos/22068905@N03/sets/72157603516643492/show/

Pay special attention to Elmo; it looks like he just lost a Muppet knife fight.

Happy, merry, jolly, mazel tov everyone.

Best in 2008.

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Daniel may have been featured in the paper of record, but I am in the paper of Royko (one of them anyway) as an "expert" on laying down the book club law.

The Chicago Sun-Times interviewed me, which is kind of cool since Mike Royko's column ran in the Billings Gazette and had a big influence on the kind of writer I wanted to be. Slats Grobnik would probably say that there is no connection here, but I'm going to go ahed and claim Royko, and Roger Ebert while we're at it. 

Speaking of heroes of mine in funny glasses, I wrote a piece for the entertaining Smith magazine series "Brushes With Fame" about crossing paths with the great Elvis Costello.

I can't say that this is the best story you will read today, but I can promise you this: My Aim is True.