I have a 100% money-back guarantee that you will guffaw at least twice while perusing this section.
This is the money shot portion of our website, where readers will climax in fits of uncontrollable laughter.
If it's still not doing it for you, check out the Auggie Smith
DVD, in which yours truly proves his devotion to the world's finest stand-up comic by losing his shirt and inking up his torso with a Sharpie.
And if that doesn't do it for you...might be time to hang it up.
If David Remnick isn't introspective enough to understand the deeper meanings in these essays, well...screw him. Everyone knows the New Yorker reached its peak in 1997 and they've been coasting ever since.