Patrick J. Sauer Online

In my younger days, I penned fiction assuming I was going to be one of those "jack of all trades" type of writers. You know, like Ernest Hemingway. So far, I've got Poppa's gut, I've downed a grapefruit daquiri at the Floridita, and now, I have published a short story.  And while it's not exactly "The Snows of Killimanjaro," it's a start.

And Ernie, or Big Ern, never waxed on about the beautiful intersection of adolescent onaism (Repent ye teenage sinners!), carnival rides with dubious safety records, Billings MT, hot buttered maize and our Lord and Savior.

I'd like to offer a doff of the cap to Animal Farm and editor Patrick Gallagher for posting "Dragons Live Forever." His guidance brought to light the fire-breathing phallic double entendre I'd missed. If you like the lit stuff, there's a bunch of great stories in this month's "Bunga Bunga" issue.

I don't know about you, but I hate reading fiction online. I need my favorites (e.g. Greene, Whitehead, Alexie, Twain...stopping now this could go on forever) in book, magazine, or at the very least, printed page form. If you are interested in reading this story--Bless you, for real--I would suggest printing it out first. Not telling you how to conduct your bookish business, but this "short" story ain't all that concise. 

Hola, amigos. 

We have returned from taking l chica bonita to the Pearl of the Antilles. Ole!

I wasn't sure what to expect with the air travel, 90-degree days, socialism and whatnot, but it was muy bien. Way easier than this week where Mom is away on business for seven long days and six longer nights. 

On that note, here is the first piece I've posted for the God Men Project, an excellent website for all things good men and their projects. It's got a bunch of good writers and if you act now, it's "Sex Week" with stories like the amusement from the guy who says once upon a time, he thought he "had a huge dong."  

I definitely did not author that piece, but for the DadsGood section, I explained why everyone should stop saying all babies do is eat, sleep and poop. Like, right this second.

I have the good fortune of having a little comedy piece in the issue #4.5 of a great new humor magazine, Whim Quarterly.

The magazine and website feature writers from The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, Late Show with David Letterman, The Onion, National Lampoon, and "an absurdist broadsheet publication called The New York Times." 

Whim Quarterly is very funny and I encourage those of you who enjoy enjoying things to get a subscription. 

Don't look back Mr. McSweeney, Whimpleton K. Junglefowl is gaining on you.

(FYI: it's worth checking out the HuffPo comments section for this piece. There's a number of notes from veterans and parents of wounded soldiers.)

(Photo copyright @Nina Berman. All rights reserved.)  

No matter what new technologies develop, singular photos always seem to provide the lasting images that sum up wars on the whole. Matthew Brady's shots at Antietam brought the horror and carnage of the Civil War home, the V-J Day "Kiss" captured the euphoria and relief of the end of the "good war," and the terrifying "Napalm Girl" displayed the barbarity of modern weaponry unleashed on a civilian populace.