Excerpts taken directly from Rush Limbaugh's national radio program:
1) “There is no difference in the way he would age, so the fact remains that it was an illegal act, a willful and flagrant violation of the rule of law. Werewolf or not, Scott Howard was a minor in position of a keg of beer.”
2) “Dittoheads, you and I both know that the Clintonistas will always apologize for President Horndog, but that doesn’t excuse the unseemly behavior of policy advisor Lewis Rothschild. The illicit affair between the unmarried Philanderer-in-Chief Andrew Shepherd and eco-freak lobbyist Sydney Ellen Wade would’ve stayed in the Oval Office closet if Rothschild had gotten his way. Rothschild himself knew what he was doing and said, and I quote, ‘It's always the guy in my job that ends up doing 18 months in Danbury minimum security prison.’”
3) “It doesn’t take talent on loan from God to realize that Jamie Conway had an intimate personal relationship with Bolivian marching powder.”
4) “There’s no crying when you leave politics! Unless, of course, you happen to be the Deputy Mayor to a card-carrying member of the Castrati, the Democratic Mayor of New York City, Randall Winston. I can only imagine the tears that flowed from Mike Flaherty’s chickified soul when his beloved General Dinkins lost.”
5) “You people know that the Infobabes, the NAACLP, the National Association of Gals, the Feminazis and the Fringe Kooks of the Democratic Party will be all over El Rusho for not being PC on this one. Oh, they’ll whine that I’m saying all African-Americans look alike, but America’s Truth Detector is here to let you know once and for all, Steve Urkel and Stefan Urquelle are the same person.”
6) “The disrespect shown by Marty McFly towards Ronaldus Magnus, the greatest president of the twentieth century, is unconscionable. But what can you expect from a plastic-banana, good-time, rock-and-roll, left-coast-living DeLorean-driving type? McFly should run to the nearest church and thank the good Lord that Ronald Reagan found humor in his malice and turned the phrase, ‘where we’re going, we don’t need roads,’ into the national rallying cry that led to the fall of the Iron Curtain.”
7) “Things happen in war. And our boys in Vietnam would’ve won that thing if the liberals hadn’t brought down Nixon. But since they did, the Khmer Rouge came to power and murdered two million people in a full-fledged genocide. That’s what our troops faced, but the liberals cared more about the safety and well being of our Communist enemies. PFC Eriksson should be brought up on charges of dereliction of duty, desertion and treason for sympathizing with a Vietcong prisoner. As I said, dittoheads, ugly things happen in war, but the Uglo-Americans like Hanoi Jane and PFC Eriksson are only interested in the rights of the terrorists. The same thing that happened in Vietnam is happening again at Club Gitmo. Here’s a simple rule PFC Eriksson, what happens in the jungle, stays in the jungle.”
8) “The Doctor of Democracy, the Chief of the Patriotism Police, the Mr. Big of the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy has no beef with Alex P. Keaton. But don’t get me started on those dope-smoking, long-haired, maggot-infested, FM hippie types parents of his…another example of the Arts and Croissants Crowd hoisting their godless politics on the rest of us.”
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