Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, begins tonight at sundown.
It isn't like the typical secular celebration, meaning Dick Clark and drunken stupors are nowhere to be found.
It is, however, a time for starting over, a time for making those resolutions that are historically violated by the time the Rose Bowl kicks-off. (Unless the Chosen People have more willpower than me.)
In honor of Rosh Hashanah 5768, Jewcy offers the "Like A Virgin" guide to wiping the slate clean and beginning again in categories like health, friendships, family, work, sex love and dating, and money, which is where I come in and join a four-star group of women writers.
I know from needing to do a better job of managing money, but I'd suggest doing as I say, not as I spend.
Spend less, save more. If it were as easy as it is simple, we all wouldn’t all constantly pay the cable bill with out credit cards. As it stands, I have exactly $1,008.37 in my “emergency fund”—which almost covers half a month’s rent (Whaddaya want? I live in NYC.) But I know that personal monetary renewal can be accomplished with a dash of self-denial and a pinch of common sense, just like getting over a gambling problem, a meth addiction, or a penchant for Craigslist men's room trysts. Having kicked all those habits weeks ago, I’m working on my financial situation. It all starts with spend less, save more, but since that’s kind of vague, here are four unlikely tips.
(Home, sweet home: If you're just renting, you won't have to thatch the roof yourself.)
Rent until you die
The three biggest lies you’ll hear this week: “the surge is working,” “just the tip, just for a second,” and “renting is throwing away your money.”
Somewhere along the line, buying a house became the most important
purchase you’ll ever make and damn those of you who are too busy
enjoying their limited cash to see the forest for the manicured lawn.
But is home still where your heart is when it turns out to be the "worst investment ever?" Sure, the housing market is slumping, but that doesn’t mean renting is a waste. This New York Times calculator allows you to plug in your current rent, the
cost of your dream home, down payment, mortgage, and taxes, and work
out for yourself whether renting is better than buying,
Quit driving like a jackass to save a couple hundred bucks
According to the Department of Energy, your gas mileage can drop as much as 33% from aggressive highway
driving. Stick to the speed limit and that’s a few hundred ducats a
year. This list of ten ways to prevent road rage will save you money and possibly
keep you from misguided attempts to show that jerkoff in the Hummer a
lesson. (If you’re feeling extra generous, take a page from the Yom
Kippur book and keep a "sorry" sign in your car at all times to help everyone else save, too.)
(The coffee fund: The interest rate isn't great, but it's very stable.)
Chock Full o’Nuts your way to the Caribbean
Come
back from the strip club with nothing but a pocket full of crumpled
ones? Your significant other probably appreciates your honesty about
where you were, but what she’d prefer is a romantic battery-charging
getaway to make everything better. The solution? An empty coffee can.
Stuffing the money left over from the night before into a grown-up
piggy bank ensures it won’t be spent on a hangover breakfast or an
ironic tee shirt. Mock the geriatric simplicity if you want, but my
wife and I did this in the year-and-change before our wedding and
socked away over $1,000 for the Grecian honeymoon. Granted, it takes
more than singles, and you need the discipline to leave it be, but
you’d be surprised how those random bills add up. I recommend going
with a Chock full o'Nuts can for that robust coffee scent.
Make money just by being patriotic
You may feel like less of American for not joining the Armed Forces, but collecting all of the commemorative quarters
of these here United States will at least make you feel like you’re
supporting the troops somehow. 2008 wraps up with Oklahoma, New Mexico,
Arizona, Alaska and Hawaii, the last five states admitted to the Union
and to our lovely custom coin folder. (Not to be a homer, but my native Montana's the quarter to beat.) As any seasoned numismatic will tell you, once
coins are out of circulation, they become more valuable, so get in
before the price of these rises to .38 or so. As an investor, you’ll
want to keep your completed quarter set in a safety deposit box to pass
down to your great-grandchildren, or until you decide to take $12.50 on
a nostalgic trip to the arcade.
(Jewcy, 9/12/07)
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